3 Easy Steps to Stop Making Decisions Out of Fear
Most of us don’t think we make decisions out of fear because we don’t feel “fearful” when we make them.
Yet, when my friend AnnMarie tells me she bought a year’s worth of toilet paper, without thinking about it, I run out and do the same--and I grab some extra some paper towels for good measure.
At the time, this seems logical to me. Yet, this is a great example of fear-based decision making. When I stop to consider my actions, I realize that I am really afraid that she knows something I don’t, and I’m afraid that when I personally need something it won’t be available to me.
Many of my clients work in Fortune 500 companies and I see them make fear-based decisions without even realizing it, especially when under pressure. This leads me to believe that it’s more common – and more problematic – than we think. Anytime we rush to act, we perpetuate anxiety and fear throughout our organization. We damage our confidence, reputation, and ability to influence positive business outcomes.
My fear of lack causes me to wipe out a store shelf and leave nothing for the next person who needs it.
A leader who handles all the logistics of a high-stakes product launch himself because he fears his team won’t “get it right,” reduces his capacity to focus on strategy, and erodes employee morale.
A hiring manager who fears being rebuked for not filling a position fast enough, jeopardizes the quality of the hire and costs the company more money in the long run.
Some Decisions Take Guts
When our decisions are rooted in fear, especially at the subconscious level, we often respond with a knee-jerk reaction. If we don’t keep it in check – if we don’t keep vigilant watch over that which we’re afraid of – we yield our ability to think constructively. As a result, we inadvertently influence others in a negative direction. Ultimately, we don’t get what we wanted in the first place – to feel good or do better.
So what can we do about this? As part of the Brave Leaders Project, we asked more than fifty leaders from around the world and across industries to share some insights into “finding the guts to lead” – especially during those moments when they felt most fearful. Their advice provides a road map we can all follow to stop the spread of fear-based decision making.
1. Compose Yourself
Composure, as defined by this group of courageous leaders, is having the ability to manage our fears. What Brazilian politician and rainforest defender Marina Silva told us was this: “Courage is not the absence of fear; courage is when commitment prevails despite the fear.” What we heard from these leaders time and again is that fear can be a useful part of the process. It’s not that they don’t have fears; they find ways to get their fear under control and then effectively use the adrenaline rush that fear provides.
Try This: As you move throughout your day, be mindful of the shifts in your energy. What does fear feel like to you? How does it express itself? If you believe you don’t ever feel fearful, think about submitting an overdue budget, making a poor hire, missing the project deadline, managing the quarterly earnings call, asking C-level executives or the board for more time or money, etc. How does your fear express itself mentally or physically? Capture these in a notebook or journal and track them over time. Once you are familiar with your patterns, you won’t be surprised by fear. Now, you’ll be able to stop yourself, take a few breaths and think it through before falling into habitual action. I might ask: “Do I really need to buy all this toilet paper right now?”
2. Name Your Fear. Tell a New Story.
Fear is a coward. It has more power when you’re not aware of it. Merck CEO Ken Frazier told us, “If you’re fearful of losing your job…or fearful of losing your title or the stature you have in the world, once you identify that as a fear, it starts losing its power.” It loosens its grip on you. Frazier described his thought process during a particularly tough decision that he had to make as Merck’s newly appointed CEO — one that would cost jobs and earnings. “I would start to make up stories about what that was going to happen, and the story in my head would actually [end up being] scarier than the reality.”
Try This: Shift your perspective. Once you identify your fear, give it a name. Fear of loss? Fear of embarrassment? Fear of lack? Fear of retribution? Now that you know specifically what you are up against, rewrite the story you are telling yourself. Find at least 10 minutes of uninterrupted time, take a few deep centering breaths, then reflect on the opposite of your fear. Use a sentence prompt to get you started: What can I be optimistic about? Or: Where is the good in this?
3. Put Others First
In May, we posted an article about altruism. The ability to put the greater good and the well-being of others before ourselves is one of the Four Universal Traits of Brave Leaders. Earlier in his career, Brazilian physicist and professor José Goldemberg was an outspoken critic of nuclear reactor development in his country. He told us that, as a result, he received threats, that the government offered to “buy him off,” and that his son, a vocal student leader, was arrested jailed for a few months. When asked what compelled him to continue to speak out, he shared this: “Being threatened was one thing, you know, but to comply and hide the truth seemed like it would be even worse.”
Try This: Think collectively, not selfishly. Put less emphasis on yourself and your immediate needs and more emphasis on how you can help other people. Consider a sentence prompt (if you like to write) or a simple reflection (if you prefer to think): Who else is being harmed or helped by this action?
In summary, follow these three steps to help convert fear-based energy into a more useful decision-making process:
Do whatever it takes to compose yourself so you act rather than react.
Name the fear to diminish its power.
Think collectively by considering the greater good.
As you become comfortable with this process, and your ability to make decisions that are not rooted in fear, you’ll come across as calm in a crisis and you’ll be seen as composed and concerned for the well-being of others. In the end, you won’t leave essential rolls of toilet paper in short supply and you’ll make better decisions for yourself, your team, and your company.